++ Singapore jokes

Teacher: Ah Kau, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?

Ah Kau: $10.

Teacher: You don't know Maths.

Ah Kau: You don't know my father la!

Mother: David, come here.

David: Yes, mum.

Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.

David: But but but....I will only get my report card tomorrow ???

Mother: I know that, but I'm going to Hong Kong tomorrow so I'm scolding you now.

Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?

Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8

Father: So?

Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8.

On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8.

If she can't make up her mind, how I know the right answer la ???

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Yes Dear.

Girl: Would you die for me?

Boy: No la, mine is undying love only !!!

Man: How old is your father?

Boy: Same as me la.

Man: How can that be?

Boy: He only became a father when I born la !!!

Teacher: Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

Simon: No la, teacher. It's the same dog!

Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That's why I tell you she's no good!

Teacher: Where were you born?

Student: Singapore , Sir.

Teacher: Which part?

Student: All of me la....

A boy came home from school with his exam results.

' What did you get?' asked his father.

' My marks are under water,' said the boy.

' What do you mean 'under water'?'

' They are all below 'C' (sea) level.'